[ Best viewed @ 800x600 or 1024x768 ] Please be patient ... the first time it may take 20-30 seconds to display  The ecstasy, dangers, agony and rewards of falling in love with Jen, will you marry me?and again? ... and again? Did I mention that Jen and I "had to get married"? ... at 50! Oh yes ... I still have to (wink) get to that part. Anyhow, it happens -  but what a cute little guy!

Try as we may, the one thing that was denied us (a total of 3 times) - was "The big white wedding".

How many girls have dreamed of what they will wear on their wedding day, what they will look like as they walk down the isle on their dad's arm with the string quartet playing a wedding march while their mom sits in the front row, dabbing her eyes with a tissue, sobbing (not so quietly) and up ahead of her stands the priest, her groom, the bride's maids, the best-man? What happens if, to get all that, you have to marry someone you like (even a lot), someone your mom likes even more, someone who can give you most everything, but he's not your true-love, not the man you dreamed would be standing there waiting for you?

Every girl's dream - but not my wedding ... and not Jen's choice!

Jen's wedding day - but not mine.

Nice Bridal gown, but it was just not meant to be ... for us.

Stunning ... and, for the record, it would have been perfect!

Cape Town, South Africa, the actual wedding #1 ... for us, saw Jen wearing her old
 yellow dance dress. Having dreamed, longed and fought for this day, for almost 9yrs,
Jennifer could have worn a tee-shirt, shorts and sandals, and I wouldn't have cared.
Since Jen's family "declined" her invitation, I asked my family not to attend, so that
Jen wouldn't feel sad. It worked. It was a joyous wedding ... we were finally married!

Then came Helena, Montana and wedding #2. This time we had to get married! 
But, it turns out that "twice was not enough!" Due to bureaucratic bungling
in our new "Far, far away" in South America, we have to get married, yet again!

OK ... for the 3rd wedding, let's dream! After all, we do have the help of a world-famous
 artist (who has done so many paintings of Jen) to design the ultimate "dream wedding dress!"

And since we do live in an "Avatar-like land of Pandora" ...


It was very tempting ... but why buck a trend that has worked so well for her?
Once again Jen chose to concentrate more on what is happening - rather than
what she is going to be wearing, keeping it simple and sweet ... just like her .

So, finally, almost 4 decades late, here is Jen's signature Hawaiian wedding dress - and this time in white!
In our new land of "Far, far away" ... weddings happen a little differently. First you get all the government paperwork done and pay their fees - at which point you are actually considered "officially married". That's done. Then there is the optional church wedding and wedding reception which can happen anytime later.

Background: A curse that has lasted at least 3 generations on Jen's mother's side of the family:

As you have read [3] Jennifer's mother tried her best to stop Jen and I from getting married (and also from staying married) and ultimately disowned Jen for marrying me - more accurately, for daring to chart her own course in life (her choice of a husband being just one of many independent choices in that regard) and certainly for daring to find any fault with the "queen's rule". [2] Well, Jennifer's maternal grandfather threatened to disown Jen's mother if she married Jen's dad (though that was later rescinded) ... but much more intriguingly, we established (from Jen's aunt and uncle) that Jennifer's  maternal great-grandfather did much the same thing to one of his sons! The brother to Jen's maternal grandfather. [1] Jen's mother's uncle, was forced to elope to marry his true love - who just so happens also to be Jen's dad's Aunt! So Jen is "doubly related" to these two star-crossed lovers, who were forbidden to marry. We speculated that perhaps Jen's dad and mom somehow met through (or because of) this particular uncle and aunt since they are an obvious link and they, in turn, had much the same problem when they wanted to get married, as Jen's grandfather objected. So, we can trace these efforts to control whom their children love and marry, first to Jen's great-grand-parents (who were contemporaries of queen Victoria) then to her grand-parents (who were children when queen Victoria ruled the empire) and finally to her own parents (who clearly still think they live in Victorian times and that Victorian England's principles still apply). That's 3 generations!

Many couples reconfirm their vows. To be honest, neither Jen or I gave this option much thought, we were just so happy and relieved to actually (finally) be able to walk down the isle once! However, governments had other ideas, and we were forced to go through 3 weddings to convince them we were married to each other. It feels like the curse of the old "queen"  - her desire that we never get married or stay married. We have to keep proving that we are indeed married. So now we have 3 actual marriage certificates. One from the South African government from 1979, one from the state of Montana in 2006 and one from a South American government in 2010. That's 3 bona-fide marriages, as if the others had never even happened. Considering the opposition to Jen and I getting married at all, it's actually quite fitting that we did marry, then got married again, and yet again ... so the queen's efforts are defeated, not just once, but 3 times! 

Childhood sweethearts - married, at 50.

(Sweet-16, 1st Date) When Jen and I first briefly saw each other, it was because her mother insisting that Jen's dad stop their white Mercedes on their way back from the beach. She proceeded to offer me a ride back to the park and, to escape the hot African sun, I gratefully accepted. Climbing into the car I found myself sitting next to Jen (for all of a few minutes) - but we were not introduced then, neither did we exchange any words - only the briefest of glances ... until later that same day. However, two sweethearts, chosen by God to play that role, had just been nudged onto the stage for the first time, and had just got their first glimpse of each other. But more to the point, a bride had, for the very first time, just seen her groom, and equally importantly, a groom had, for the first time, just seen his bride. From that point on, this intriguing, complex, loving script unfolded quite rapidly and most rewardingly. Even if I were able to write creatively at that point in my life, I could never have written as creative and intriguing a script for any love story, let alone our own. All I'm doing is relating the story as it unfolded, but I'm not the author! This photo of the young Jennifer and I, about to go on our first date, was taken (quite "coincidently") with the car in which we first encountered each other (the White Mercedes - Her Dad's company car) in the background. Now, some 36 years later (in 2006) this story has a rather unusual sequel. You see, we were married in Africa in 1979 (as you read earlier in the story) under the old illegitimate apartheid-era government. Well, this year I was required to produce an authenticated original copy of our marriage certificate for the purposes of immigration... but, to no avail. No government (Canadian or South African) would co-operate in providing us with some form of legal document saying that we were married. So governments, it would seem, recognized ours as having been a 36 year long "love affair"... and little else! So, at 50, we had to get married, and doing so was not going to be easy! I called around locally - only to find that it was not going to be easy (maybe even impossible) to get married again in Canada (since Jen's surname is long since the same as mine - we entered Canada that way) and for all they know (since we could not exactly contact Jen's parents to prove otherwise) with no identity documents to help prove otherwise, we may well be brother and sister ... strange considering they routinely marry two men or two women, and all I wanted to do is marry my wife, and she me. So it was that we went to the one place in America we hold most dear - where politics and bureaucracy are still considered dirty words, the state whose people have played such a vital role in our lives ... the lovely prairie and rocky mountain state of Montana ... and thus it was that our fair "Snow-white" was first married in Cape-town, South Africa in 1979, and again in Helena, Montana (their State Capital) in the spring of  2006 ... or if one were to believe governments - for the first time! Now that's quite unusual, but there is more. You see, last year, after buying and becoming quite attached to our old black Mercedes (Featured in the chapter called "Fairy-tales can come true") we bought our sons each one of these beautiful classic cars too. (below: "Sweety and Ian's carriage", a classic black Mercedes 300D)

Naturally Jen and I (childhood sweethearts) - after 36 years, were so very tempted to "elope" to Montana in our eldest son's white Mercedes ... and there get married (again). That would have been very nostalgic! But sometimes the past is best left alone. You see, that would have meant we would travel to Montana on the 6th of June, 2006 (Local election day there) to get married, and considering we would be doing so in the classic white Mercedes (Shown below) - so very reminiscent of our first meeting at Christmas in 1971, I have to honestly admit that I felt most uncomfortable with this whole arrangement! So we re-planned the proceedings, choosing a much different date, went down in our mini-van instead, took our sons along with us and had them be the witnesses, ring-bearer and photographer. I know I sound rather too superstitious, but just imagine this possible scenario: "On 6/6/6 (a date which happens once each century) two childhood sweethearts traveled to Montana, alone, in a white Mercedes, like the one in which they first met 36 years ago, to get married again, and along the way they were involved in a tragic accident in which ..." Well, it just does not even bear thinking about or elaborating on further, it's just too sad an ending to our story! Call me superstitious, if you want, but I just don't want "666" associated with anything important in our lives! So it was that  our two sons (and Happy) were able to be at our wedding ... and they now have a wonderful story to tell their children, and for us, we have a real fairy-tale to tell our grandchildren.

Now each year we have 2 anniversaries to celebrate, 1 known by friends and family - the other our secret!

"Here comes the Bride" in her Hawaiian dress, on the stairs of the Montana Capitol building in Helena.

We were married by Judge Marvin Pitch who shared some stories of the many interesting marriages he has performed. You know it's really difficult not to like Montana (the USA's 3rd largest state) and it's people! With barely one million citizens, Montana is one of the most unspoiled beautiful places in the USA.
 
This time Jen had a beautiful Hawaiian dress and jewelry, and our two sons there as official witnesses. That's tough to beat! I am truly honored that this awesome lady would agree to officially marry me a second time! What a privilege to have all this happen to us as we turn 50, after almost 36 years.

While waiting for the Judge to marry us we met Frank (a Montana state trooper) who had recently come back from Africa and knew our old haunts very well - and like most Montanans, was a real friendly guy.
(I think he probably is routinely provided to ensure that nobody becomes a "Runaway" bride - or groom)

And a few hours later ... the wedding feast that evening in Great Falls with members of our Christian  family. Barbequed steak and salmon with all the trimmings. Montana is ranching country - superb beef!


Now, there are a few other minor ironies surrounding this wedding, one of which is rather striking when
remembering our first wedding in Africa ... but perhaps I'll just let you figure that one out for yourself.
Update from South America: Actually, besides the dresses, one trend held true for all our weddings.

 Discovering some of "Serendipity's many hidden secrets" ...

"SERENDIPITY" - The phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not purposely sought after, seemingly by chance.

How we really met: Some time after I presented Jennifer with the poem I had written for her, "Summer Love",  which details our first meeting- from my perspective, I learned something that I was just not prepared for. You see, after reading my love-poem again one day, Jen smiled mysteriously, gave me a hug, made some tea, then told me to sit down and prepare myself for a "little surprise". As I sat sipping my tea, she related what had really happened on that day. So now let's put these perspectives together.

Still a little flustered ... I had that instinctive feeling that something very momentous had just happened. I could not stop myself from thinking about this young woman I had shared the back seat of that Mercedes with for those brief few minutes. There was something unusually intriguing about her - besides the fact that she clearly was gorgeous! It felt very different - clearly this was something other than my teenage hormones - the effects of which I knew and understood all too well by now. So after lunch I decided to walk about the camp and look for that white Mercedes. "Perhaps" , I thought, "I would meet this young woman again and, well, I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do or say once I located her - but I do remember that I felt compelled to try! So, around the park I walked, searching for that white Mercedes. It was Christmas time, summer holidays, and Siesta was a veritable maze of Campers and RV's - but no white Mercedes to be found. Red ones, Black ones, Silver ones - but no white ones. "Strange", I thought, "Perhaps they were just visiting someone else and were now gone again ... or maybe I just missed it"? Extra content: At exactly the same time that I was walking around trying to find her, this young "mystery woman" - whose name I did not yet know, was walking around that same park (not exactly sure why she felt compelled to do so) ... trying to locate me. (I only discovered this many years later) ... go figure! Well, having failed to find her - back I went to be with my family and, having failed to find me - back she went to her family. "Mom", she said, "I'm going to take a walk to the "Duka" (the owner's little general store in the park) Mr. Nixon has some used paperback books there that he loans out and I feel like relaxing in the shade with an interesting book". And at exactly the same time: "Son", my mother said beckoning to me, "Could you please go and buy me some milk at the Duka, we have none left". "Sure Mom", I replied taking the money from her and heading out on that fate-filled short trip - and of course, the rather pivotal poem, "Summer Love", which appears in Jonathan's 2nd. novel, accurately describes what happened next. I never did appreciate poetry enough. In 54yrs I have only written one poem of any note ... and it ended up changing our family's history. Now I have a healthy respect for poetry! Trivia: "Duka" is Swahili for "store" or "shop", and was the little general store in the campground ("Siesta") where Jen's family and mine vacationed each summer (Christmas in Africa). It's proprietor, Mr. Nixon, fled Kenya with his family at the time of the Mau Mau rebellions - which had made it unsafe for any European settlers to still live there.

The beautiful white Arum-lily (pictured here) is found growing wild in all of the rivers and lakes of the Wilderness area in Southern Africa - they are indigenous to this area, and have long-since become world-wide favorites. Elsewhere this lily is called the "Calla Lily", also the "Trumpet Lily". Each afternoon we would go canoeing and, as soon as we spotted some of these flowers, I would steer the canoe right up next to the lily-patch where I would then pick just one of these gorgeous wild white lilies for Jennifer, so naturally Jennifer and I consider it to be "our flower". She would sit (still dressed in her bikini and with only a thin little blouse on) facing me in the canoe and gently caress this exquisite white Arum-lily while smiling and chatting softly to me as I navigated the canoe up that silent murky river ... ever deeper and deeper  into the dense African jungle. All around us were huge ferns and wild flowers and every now and then the silence would be pierced with the echoing songs and mating calls of the many colorful birds in the jungle's canopy. Love was all around us. Was this a magical forest? Oh yes ... very magical, and being there (alone) in the canoe with Jennifer, floating on that mirrored surface reflecting almost perfectly the steep jungle hills that rose up on either side of us ... made it even more so! There, in our luscious protective jungle cocoon, far away from civilization's noise and the voices of  parents and others, our friendship grew and our young love blossomed, just like those many beautiful white Arum lilies there in the water at the jungle's edge ... resilient,  pure and fertile - it would need to be! What I did not know at the time, is that the Calla Lily is a long time favorite flower for use in Bridal Bouquets. So I was giving Jennifer just one lily each day we were together, not realizing that soon all of these would accumulate into a full wedding bouquet, a proposal. Make that 3 proposals and 3 weddings.

JABULA - Now, as if that wasn't all significant enough ... another secret lay hidden from us, for almost 34 years. You see, a regular camper (Philip "Flippy" Gerber) who's family camped on the banks of that river each summer (the man with his shirt on in the photo - LHS) got his son Michael, who was a couple years or so older than us (seen here rowing the boat out to deeper waters) to take Jennifer and I to our first dance in their power-boat, and then to bring us back again to Siesta at midnight. Now that was a really kind thing of them to do for us, and as you can imagine, it made our first date so very special! We would go to dances at Fairy-Knowe in "Jabula" many times through the years. Sadly, "Flippy" died young (in his fifties) and we were never able to thank him again as happily married mature adults. Now, as you can see from the picture (above) that red and white powerboat was named "Jabula", which I somehow always assumed was an Elephant's name. Well, I was wrong. "Jabula" is the Zulu word for? It's ZULU for "Happy" - you know, as in "Happily ever after". Knowing now that we were ferried to the dances (and back again at midnight) in the boat ... "Happily ever after" boat, is, well, kind of a nice comforting feeling!  "Happy" is what we've been and how our love story has progressed. I cannot help but wonder what other significant little "secrets" lie undiscovered?   

Our first date ...

So, when do "all things work together for good?" ... the good, the bad and even the ugly?

Following God's script for our lives (instead of trying to make-up our own) has definitely been much more exciting! As a small boy growing up in rural Africa, the son of a traveling African Dr. and a cover-girl mother, growing up amongst missionaries and traders in a small colonial European community of some 500 people spread out through a large high altitude region with it's Tibetan-like mountains and valleys (above) complete with snow several times each year, could I have ever imagined, even in my dreams, that the first 50 years of our lives would have turned out the way it has? No ... not even in my wildest dreams!

Finally, after almost 9yrs, we were married! Can you see the elation and relief on our faces? Still, there was no fancy wedding dress for Jen, and just our friends attended. Afterwards, we enjoyed a reception in the African bushveldt, with wild animal noises audible over the crackling fire and laughter of friends. This was the first of 3 weddings for us, on 3 continents, all small, none fancy - all very happy events! Of course we had temporarily forgotten that there was "one very steamed queen" just waiting to avenge her defeat.

Dan	Jon

 Living (unbeknownst) right under her nose ... the last place she thought to look for us. Looking out across the moat - at the mother's neighborhood (from the safe side of the lake). let's just say that for us it was getting to look and feel "a little too hot". In fact, after 6yrs it started to feel quite a bit like "Hell" again!

Some 20 years ago, Jen and I bought a lovely lot in the forests of BC overlooking Lake Okanagan, and her mother (Clearly jealous and very miffed that we had not done what she had demanded instead) pronounced this really nasty curse over it (and us) saying: "Just you wait and see, if you should ever build there and live on that lot, you will lose everything in a forest fire, your mementos, all of your precious photos - everything!" Deciding (back then) that the valley (for obvious reasons) was not a good place to live, we put the lot up for sale and she, delighted she had prevailed, just naturally assumed that it had sold - but it never did, and unbeknownst to her, many years later we built our dream-home, "Chalet-Rose", on this exact property. Now (though the 2 events are un-related) it's worth showing this photo of a monumental Canadian natural disaster - The Okanagan Mountain fire, which occurred, ironically, around Jennifer's mother's city neighborhood, not ours. Sparked by lightning, it raged for weeks, displacing a third of the city's people, destroying entire city neighborhoods. For most of that summer smoke billowed high above the lake and surrounding mountains, ash and embers were carried aloft for miles, spreading the fire, and the night sky was illuminated by the unrelenting flames. We were reduced to horrified awestruck spectators on the safe side of the lake. Now it was time to again elope.

I'm sure few of you will hold it against us for retiring to the shade of the palm trees,
 here to relax and savor our hard-won love  ... "far, far away from the maddening crowd".  

[ It took an epic 11,000km overland voyage for our family to get here from the N.W. corner of Canada, but we made it! ]

So, in keeping with a theme of living life by faith (instead of by our own self-limiting plans) here's a rather prophetic poem written by our youngest son, Jonathan which, even though he had written it a couple of years earlier, we never knew about until just before we moved (In  the spring of 2006). Then, at exactly the right time, we got to see it, and read it - and we instinctively knew it was a  most prophetic message!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is where I will be
When you look on and say
That yesterday is not quite where
you want for me to stay
Move on, move on
let the past, be the past
Move on, move on
let the past, stay the past
For tomorrow is where you'll see
The waking roses bloom
Yesterday isn't what you thought.
(c) Jonathan Ian Eloff, April 22, 2004.

[ And from even just these few photos of our new "Promised land" ... if you use your imagination, I'm sure you will agree. ]

Many years ago, Jen and I met and fell in love in a beautiful National park in South Africa. Now many years later we end up retired and living in a beautiful National park in a tropical paradise, still very much in love.

[ Click LINK to see a video of just some of: Snow-White's Jungle critters ... ]

[ Click LINK to see a video of some of the more regular of: Snow-White's Birdies ... ]

So here we are, 35 years later, once again in a beautiful tropical land of "Far Far Away", on a hot summers day, in a very similar place to the Wilderness, both of us now 50, driving in a Mercedes again - but this time it's Jen and I in the front, me driving and Jen sitting next to me. Our son Jonathan is in the back seat and the hot afternoon sun is making it less than comfortable for anyone walking  ... when suddenly we see her walking alone on the side of the road. (No - I'm really not joking or making this up!!) You see, there, in front of us, walking next to the road in the lazy summer heat, was a beautiful young girl, all of 16 years old, with "long chestnut-golden hair cascading down around her slender shoulders bare". So naturally, you may ask, did Jen ask me to stop the Mercedes? Did she then roll down her window and offer the young girl a ride home? Did Jonathan then open the back-seat's door from the inside for her? Did she accept the offer and climb in to sit next to Jonathan? Did they exchange furtive glances? What about the little store that she was walking back home from when we encountered her? Did Jen ask Jonathan (later) to go and get her something from that little store? Did they meet again? What happened next? Well, you've heard quite a bit about our own love-story (40yrs in the making) and I'm done telling it now, so I'm just going to let Jonathan and his God-given "true-love" act in their very own loving God-given script and, in due course, I'm sure the two of them will find a way to share their beautiful story with you.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are the called according to His purpose." This verse clearly outlines God promises to those people that trust in Him and agree to follow His plan (script) for their lives: God doesn't promise only easy, good, happy, stress-free times, but does promise that He will turn  even bad situations and circumstances into "good and happy outcomes" for any people who trust Him. Well, we did and God sure has done so!

When we follow "God's script", Trusting God, all things (even "the bad") work together for good!
(That much is quite clear to all of us now ... and it's one of the major motivations for us all sharing our family's story with you)

Mark Twain: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover!” ... and I'd hasten to add: "Dare to Renew yourself."

  
Order from   or          Due out in 2011         To be announced       

[ Click here for the "teaser" describing the back-ground to these novels ]
 

Just as well we were not able to see what lay ahead ...

In the most "ironic twist" of all, we came to understand how God, long ago, wrote a script in which the "queen" (who, like her alter-ego in the fairy-tale, is terribly jealous of young "Snow-white" and is hell-bent on her destruction) unwittingly facilitates her daughter meeting and falling in love with the one young boy who has the courage to oppose her un-loving destructive schemes and, in so doing, God's loving rescue plan to save "Snow-white" unfolds, but it would be many years before we could see it all clearly. Like most teenagers in love, we were believers in true-love, fairy-tales and happy endings - idealistic, naive, trusting and eternal optimists! Jennifer and I still believe in "True-love" and "Happy endings", even right here on earth. We have been privileged enough to experience both, but notice how I didn't say "perfect love" or "perfect endings"? Realistically speaking, for our human relationships, "perfect" is just not possible ... Looking back at how we first met (with more of the details apparent to us now) and having since discovered many of the circumstances preceding our first meeting; remembering what happened afterwards and all the good that's arisen from this script so far (even without knowing how it's going to end) we have to confess that for us it's a wonder-filled case of "SERENDIPITY in action", which is just a fancy phrase acknowledging the Loving, Helpful, Invisible, Guiding Hand of God that was woven into the very fabric of every good love's story - but then only if we "climbed aboard for the ride" ... which fortunately, we did.

And now ... some rather noteworthy "ultimate ironies":

Jen and I often chat about how different things could have been if Jen's mother, "the witch-queen", had acted more normally ... not jealous of her daughter, but rather by being a loving supportive mother, grandmother and mother-in-law? But really, for us now this is all mere speculation ...  after all, as nice a dream as that could have been - this is not the story of a lovely American girl blessed with doting parents, this is the story of "Africa's Snow White". So, we are finally completely realistic in this regard as (no doubt) finally Snow-white also had to become. Still, we cannot help but notice that the one person so fixated on destroying us, our family and our love ... was also used as a catalyst in our lives and as such:

(1) Was used to enable our meeting, though she never actually introduced us, that was out of her control and happened later the same day - but we had been brought to each others attention at that moment!

(2) Was the catalyst for our move to north America from a rather problematic region. Back then it seemed to have a questionable future. We would probably not have done this on our own (at least not back then).

(3) Her hostile ungenerous actions towards her daughter and I, forced us to concentrate on each other, our love and our future happiness rather than spend any of our energies planning an elaborate wedding with all the nice trappings and all the nice words people say on that special day that so many people take for granted. Now while words are nice and generally always seem easier at weddings, we were forced to go well beyond words ... forced into taking some very tough tangible actions to prove our love for each other

(4) She was the catalyst for us choosing to move to the relative isolation and beauty of the North American west ... For us Calgary and Canada's Rockies, where we bought our first home, where both our sons were born and where we lived for 15 productive and mostly very happy years - until she arrived there.

(5) Then she was the reason we moved (eloped really) to the other side of the continent, to the beautiful Niagara escarpment (the area above the Niagara falls), and in so doing we ended up getting an extra 1/4 million dollars with which to retire early and move back (without her awareness) to build and live in our dreamy "Chalet Rose" in the mountains along the lake ... right under her nose, for almost 6 years.

(6) Her relentless obsessive aggression aimed at destroying our love, our family and us, was very effective in uniting us in a common cause - the defense of our love and family and ourselves. Let's face it, there are so many other obvious things that could have driven a wedge between Jen and I, but we were just so united (and stubbornly intent on staying that way) that these other more common threats  (very real and destructive for most people) were just never able to feature as serious dangers in our lives.

(7) Also, the tough times we endured (a result of all the mother's many hostile attacks) forced us into many serious life-changing decisions ... most importantly among these, for us, was setting in order our relationships with Almighty God, in other words, getting our spiritual acts together - which is never bad!

(8) Without her unflinching obsessive quest to break, destroy or totally subjugate Jen, her happiness, love and family (basically her whole life) we would probably still be on some kind of speaking terms and thus would not have been free to go and live again in our very beautiful "Far far away" ... very far apart from her, with Jennifer finally having peace on that matter. Here now we can concentrate more fully on our own family's "Happily ever after" by putting in place the foundations for a truly happy extended family, unhindered by any further attacks against it, so as not to have history repeat itself. We look forward to our daughters in-law and grandchildren, and perhaps we may even see our great grandchildren? In other words, that curse which seems to go back quite far on Jen's mother's side of the family, is now well and truly broken, and we are free to pursue building a normal happy family, the kind of family many of you may already enjoy - but a family that should never ever be taken for granted!

(9) At a similar age (with their children at a similar age) both Jen and her mother undertook a move to new countries - but that's where the similarity ends! When Jen's mother did so, as you have read, it was with her acting as a dictator - simply bullying everyone, including even Jen's dad, to go along with her plans ... which turned everyone's life upside down and ultimately ended up not serving any legitimate long-term family interests. We decided that we would do so only if we had the unanimous consent of all of our family members, and while lobbying was allowed, no bullying would be tolerated!