Jennifer and I were both loyal believers in God. We called ourselves Christians because we had attended various Christian churches along with our families. In Jen's case, at first the Anglican (Episcopal) church; but that changed when her mother received the communion chalice after a black man had drunk from it, so they became Presbyterians. In my case it was the Methodist church and then, for almost a decade, the Anglican church, courtesy of an Anglican church boarding school to which I was sent at age 8, to be educated in the ways of the "English". So that was that then, we were Christians because we attended church. Heaven was just a formality.

Jennifer, 2 months shy of 16 ... the mermaid who's "siren song" lured me away into the depths of an adventure, starting far away (at the tip of Africa) - a long time ago, Christmastime of 1971, which in the southern hemisphere is "Summer vacation!" - a time for much fun ... and for romance!

Jennifer (now 17, just about to enter Grade 12) is pictured here in her hallmark blue bikini sitting in the front of the canoe,  looking back at me (rowing), while cheerfully chatting away, holding and gently caressing "our flower" - the lovely white Arum (Cala) Lily, which originates from this beautiful Wilderness coastline. I'm busily guiding the canoe ever deeper into that luscious jungle ... far away from civilization. It was our cherished daily routine. Each afternoon we would escape to nature - far enough away from civilization ... just us two.

Sadly, after 3 wonder-filled romantic summer vacations, this part of our fairytale came to an abrupt end. Our teenage years now fast drawing to a close, Jen was off to College and I was drafted into the Air force. For the next 2 years, I was stationed far away from Jen. In 74/75 South Africa fought not just 1, but 2 wars. But I never gave up hope of seeing Jen again - though my chances were very slim indeed. I knew that young women do fall in love at college, and cannot be expected to wait 2 years at age 18-20 ... that's just not realistic!

Jennifer was now finished with her freshman year, and I was finally almost done with participating in both wars ... and then we met again in a totally unexpected manner, 2 Christmases after last seeing each other. Still in my Air-force uniform, seeing Jen some distance ahead of me (dressed only in her bikini and walking next to our familiar sunny Wilderness beach) I ran up behind her ... Calling out her name, I embraced Jen from behind. She, instantly recognizing the "warm voice from her past", spun around, her surprised look quickly transforming into a delighted happy smile, as instinctively she settled comfortably back into my arms again. That truly unforgettable serendipitous moment marked the beginning of our adult love affair. Our own personal fairytale had resumed.

Two years later, Jennifer, almost 22 and engaged to me, is "forced" by very unusual circumstances,
ones carefully crafted by her mother over these 2 years, to bid farewell to me, her fiancé, and so now she leaves Africa - for a new life in Canada, clear across (at the other end of) the world.

For the next 9 months we lived (quite literally) at the opposite ends of this world. Jennifer and I, still engaged, were now oceans, hemispheres and continents apart, and it was taking quite a toll on the two of us. It was not what we had ever wanted! A devious, unflinching controlling mother's will had been imposed on us, and her carefully crafted multi-faceted "master plan" had, it seemed, worked ... and all seemed so hopeless now.

Selling my car and stereo, I was able to make one (and only one) last desperate attempt to interfere with the very determined mother's "master-plan" to totally control her daughter's future and to veto our love's natural progression, by traveling across the world from Africa at Christmas-time, to the "Frozen white north". There I spent some time with my fiancé and  pleaded our love's cause with her, in person, trying to lay-out some valid compromise choices for our future together - rather than merely acquiesce to her mother's iron-clad resolve for how things were going to unfold in our lives. It really was romance's version of a "Hail-Mary" play ... and it almost worked, had I not slipped on some ice in the end-zone. But we young sweethearts were clearly out of our element and at a distinct disadvantage! Enjoying "home-field" advantage, Jennifer's mother sent her younger sister along with us wherever we went - to spy on us.  Once she figured out that we were planning to return to Africa, together, so that I could finish my final year at university, then only return to Canada, she wasted no time in making it abundantly clear to us that if we were even thinking of living our lives according to any of our own dreams, or by any time-table other than hers, then we would have to do so "out in the cold" - completely on our own, without any help from her or Jen's dad. So it was that one night we were thrown out (quite literally) by this mother, onto the snowy deserted streets of Kitchener, Ontario - in the middle of a very severe Canadian winter, over the Christmas holidays, with very little money and with no support group to turn to, simply because we loved each other and dared to offer our own alternatives to the mother's rigid plans for our lives. We were stunned by her cruelty!

Now (as you will see later) for a young man of my heritage (a Boer descendent) to be thrown out into the cold (in sub-zero temperatures) in the middle of Canadian winter, and by an "old queen Victoria", in a city named after Lord Kitchener (who killed so many of my ancestors) with a young fiancé to care for, with almost no money left and no support-group to turn to, is a particularly terrifying nightmare to have come true! Worse yet, it is unbearable to watch this happen to the one you love ... to watch how she has to cope with not just the life-threatening cruel elements, but with the absolute rejection by ALL of her birth family. We were just not prepared for this. Her mother had made this much clear: "Jenny, you have been kicked out into the cold because you chose to be with him". The statue of the two young bare-footed sweethearts on a park-bench in the snow, clearly out of their element, sums it up rather well. That is exactly how it felt - and how we felt! Yes, it's pretty unfair, but whilst the mother could (and did) put her daughter through this ordeal ... I truly loved Jen, and I just couldn't force her to endure this nightmare any longer! So whilst Jen was doing her best to put up a brave front, I blinked - on behalf of both of us, and for now this battle for freedom, was lost. 

Practically speaking, this had been a "long shot" rescue attempt (for our love and future together) and it was very efficiently "scuttled" by a heart far colder than the frigid surroundings we found ourselves in. In hindsight, there was one family who had themselves recently arrived in this city from Africa who probably would have taken us in, out of the cold, for a few days, but we were so shell-shocked and embarrassed to find ourselves thrown out onto the cold mean streets of downtown that we tried to muddle through it on our own. By the time we did think of them, we were left with no money to "exit stage-left" - to both travel back to Sunny Africa. We literally used what little money we had to save our lives - after all, we had to seek shelter from -10deg temperatures, and that money lasted only 1 week. Then all I had left was my return ticket to Africa. So, all too soon I was, once again, far far away at the opposite end of the world from Jennifer - as she was from me ... and now all hope for our love seemed lost.

Ever since our unexpected and most unfair defeat in the snowy, cold, Great-White North, Jen had secretly been planning her return to Africa and to me. So, some 9 months after leaving Africa, Jen now almost 23 ... 8 years after Jen and I met and fell in love, Jen defied those opposed (and the odds) and returned from Canada to Africa, to marry me, her childhood sweetheart. Well, what's to say but:

To avoid  any more interference, Jen secretly (this time not even her sister knew of her plans) organized for an extended visa and then used her savings to buy a non-refundable airline ticket to Africa ... then simply announced it all to her mother and family. Caught off guard, predictably her mother was not amused, trying to talk her out of doing so, trying to get her to wait by promising  her "a big wedding and a lovely wedding dress one day" as incentive to stay in Canada, with her ... to not leave back to Africa to marry me. But Jen would have none of it, and stoically went ahead with her plans (already made) to return to Africa and to me. However, without her parents help, Jen's meager savings were enough for a plane ticket back to Africa OR a lovely wedding dress - but not for both. So, the most important day in a girl's life, some say ... and Jen had to choose.

There really was no reason why her parents could not attend our wedding and play their customary roles. Jen had announced her intentions with plenty of time for them to arrange to take part, her return to Africa neatly coinciding with her Dad's annual  month-long vacation. For them it would have been an opportunity to visit family and friends. But they simply declined - choosing instead to buy a new power-boat, rent an RV and go on a holiday to the "1,000 islands". Jennifer's mother (like any decent mother would) should have - at the very least, insisted on finding a wedding dress for her, and arranged for relatives in South Africa to stand-in for them (the parents) so that Jen's dad's older brother who lived in Cape Town, could have walked her down the isle ("given her away") and been present at our reception to say the usual nice things on behalf of her dad, but the truth is, this mother could not have cared less! What's more, she made it appear to Jen that her dad too could not have been bothered - which is particularly hurtful to any daughter!

So ... no dad, no dress, no stand-ins, no financing (or even assistance) - nothing! Clearly "miffed", Jennifer's mother ensured that Jen went back without even a modest dress of any kind  - the very least she should have done considering  that they were not going to have to pay for any wedding. So it was that Jen arrived back in Africa, for what some think  is a woman's "most important day", with nothing ... just herself, and that was good enough for me back then. After what we  had endured, dresses etc. were just not foremost on our minds anymore ... we were just so pleased to be back together again, that back then "the dress" played a minor role in it all. As a student, I had $200 for the entire wedding making "elaborate anything's" a practical impossibility. I had made the decision not to involve any of my family members either, not that I would not have like them to be there (and they would have definitely financed our wedding) but because it  would have highlighted the absence of Jen's family and thus made her sad on her wedding day. So, we had just a few of
our friends with us, had one of them take the wedding photos with his 35mm camera, got married in the old stone church next to Jen's old UCT university residence, went dancing afterwards and really enjoyed it all ... it was a memorable day! None of the mother's selfish plots and schemes mattered. Jennifer was a radiantly beautiful bride and  we were finally married! Sounds like a victory for love - doesn't it? Well, in reality it was not even half-time yet, in "the game of love", and we had scored (pulling slightly ahead) but celebrating love's victory now would  be very premature!

But ...  if we dream a little ...  25 years later, with the help of that renowned artist's brush, I finally get to give Jennifer that most "beautiful wedding dress of her dreams" ... And so we now get to correct yet another of many seemingly small (yet significant) wrongs.

So, did Jennifer and I ever get to Live happily ever after? Well, you will have to read the entire story and make up your own mind on that; but barely 6 months after we were married, we found ourselves standing together, in the gathering dark, the weather bitterly-cold ... on the snowy doorstep of the "Witch's house". These are actual (on-location) period photos of that scene, by the way - with the waves of nearby lake Ont. crashing thunderously on the shoreline barely 50 yards away, ice was beginning to form on the beach. There we stood at her door, with just two suitcases, very little money, bereft of friends, family or any supporters close by - on Christmas eve 1979. We were used to warm sun, palm trees, hibiscus, sandy beaches, vineyards, flowers, songbirds - but now suddenly we found ourselves in a new country and at a time when it reminded us more of Siberia than of the tropics. Two young sweethearts, unable to count on any of our supporters, no jobs or, home, no car ... but worse yet - very naive  and standing there on the threshold of our love's most bitter sworn enemy! Back then we simply did not notice the shafts of light piercing that seemingly overwhelming  gathering darkness surrounding us - for we could not yet see Who it was that was there with us ... Who had been the One that had Introduced us, had Nurtured our love, had Re-introduced us (again and again) and had always Protected us and our love so very well! In time we would discover this.

2004: Our 25th anniversary was a perfect time for this very nostalgic project!

Note: Other than the addition of a Mermaid's tail and the beautiful wedding gown, every little detail is authentically re-created from pictures of the actual locations (some re-shot on 2 separate trips back to Africa) as well as from actual period pictures of Jen and I. The very talented world-renowned artist, Jonathon Earl Bowser, took my photographs and, along with my detailed  descriptions of these previously "un-photographed events", painted  9 lovely paintings for us. It was indeed a most enjoyable project!

Even though this was not her first such "Surprise" ... was Jen pleasantly surprised by these? I'd say so! [Special thanks to Jonathon Earl Bowser, an awesome artist, for painting these 9 lovely precious paintings]